just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
