He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
