I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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