I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The feeling are messing with the penis
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
