Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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