I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
