I'm so fucking centered right now
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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