i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
