WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
