sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
