I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
