Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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