Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
