you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
