At least make sure they are 18
Why
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
