He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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