i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im holly from the hills drunk
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
