He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
