Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i need some magic done to my vagina
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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