i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
