i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
