she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
