so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
