so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
did i walk over a car last night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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