am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
