I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
