Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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