I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
