I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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