Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
