I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize