just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
