Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
