Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize