Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize