i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
