At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
