i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
