Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
