he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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