dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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