I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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