So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
