yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
