i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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