I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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