I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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