so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
