it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
