I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
