this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
