No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
