whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
