Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
These tits shall not be calmed
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize