Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
