i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
