So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
