btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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