if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
