Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize